• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Livingston Consulting

  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Coaching
    • Consulting
    • Therapy
    • Facilitation
  • Keeping It Real
  • Who We Are
  • Blog
  • Contact
You are here: Home / Archives for quit your job

quit your job

October 8, 2013 by Christine

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Quit My Job

How do self-employed people actually do it?

The successful ones? The ones that have good lives and make money without a corporation at their back?

That was a question I pondered for quite some time as I weighed up the decision to go it alone. In the end it took me at least a year to get up the courage to quit.

By that point I had complete clarity that it was the right way to go and had some immediate concrete steps that helped me transition from being on a payroll to managing my own payroll.

And things have taken their own path since then.

But from time to time it occurs to me to think that I wish I’d had a “me” alongside me then, sharing her experience. Here are some key things I’d tell her:

1. People May Doubt Your Sanity

In all my “should I/shouldn’t I?” deliberations, it did cross my mind to consider that some people might think I’d lost the plot to walk away from what was on the face of it a great job. But I wasn’t ready for how they’d share that or how it would impact me.

For example, my boss at the time thought I was having a nervous breakdown, and suggested I take a sabbatical and not do anything until I’d returned. That did cause me to wonder for a moment if he might be right.

Then, a headhunter I’d known called me up with some fantastic opportunity. He was shocked when I said no to it and told him why. In fact, he got a bit shitty with me, like I’d deliberately set out to upset him. That too made wonder whether people might be seeing things I wasn’t.

I guess till then everyone in my circle had seen me as a corporate ladder sort of person who would live out her career in bigger and bigger roles, and that when I chose not to see myself like that, it came as a bit of a surprise.

Looking back I can see that I was upsetting the status quo at the time and that people’s reactions just reflected that.

2. Disconnecting from office politics was easy

One of the things I found most difficult about working for a big company was the politics. No matter what anyone says, underneath all the rational stuff that gets attended to, there’s a ton of emotional stuff and outright power play.

I used to find myself in mind-numbing conversations about how to position this or that in order that someone in power would say yes to it. And endlessly reworking things, just because the guy at the top wanted it so.

I didn’t miss this for a second. But…

3. Disconnecting from the people was tough

On the other hand, it was much more difficult to disengage from my colleagues.

One of the great, positive things about corporations is that they are communities. They’re places where you can turn up day to day and feel part of something bigger than yourself.

I’d been part of a fabulous team and even though I still keep in touch with some of them socially, it was strange not to have them so present in my life.

For a while it was odd not to dial in automatically for voice messages, or jump online to get the latest stream of email.

But then a kind of peace decended and it was okay.

4. Sometimes you will feel lonely. But you’re not

I guess it depends on what you do after you quit. I spend, by choice, a large part of my week at home and coach mainly by Skype or phone these days.

There are days, especially if my other half is away and the children aren’t around, when I feel alone.

But I’m not.

Thanks to the internet and social media, I can connect with folks online when I want. I’m a member of several online communities and have virtual friends I rarely see in person but with whom I chat online.

I also make sure to do at least one in-person social thing a week, and to head off to my local coffee shop of a morning in the knowledge that some other *alternative* sorts are sure to be hanging out there too.

The important thing is that you have to work at creating your *colleagues* in a very different way.

5. You have to relearn how to spend your time

If you work for a corporation, the chances are that you are on some kind of contract that sets the context for how you spend your days. And you create habits and rituals around that. Get up. Travel (or not). Start work … All at certain times.

Even the content of what you do will be largely guided by the job you’re doing.

Working for yourself, it’s a whole new ball game. You yourself get to create it all: context, what and when.

Ah, the freedom!

But in the beginning, there were days when I felt a little adrift and disoriented. I guess I’d been so used to being in the system.

As time has gone by I’ve found my own rhythm. It has kind of emerged. I wished I’d knew from the outset that’s how it would be.

6. You have to rethink money

You know what it’s like. You have a salary and performance or bonus elements of one form or another, and maybe some benefits too. I know I did. There’s a kind of security around all of that.

This all goes when you work for yourself. You have to go back to basics in figuring out for yourself what you’re going to pay yourself and how.

And of course all of that assumes that your business venture makes money.

When I quit my consulting job at first, I started off freelancing, which was great. But it took a full three months of being self-employed and doing anything before any money started arriving in my bank account.

And a good year or so after that before I could get my head round managing the financial ebbs and flows and being okay with them.

There was anxiety for me in all of that then. Now, I’d tell myself that’s just the way it is.

7. You will impact other people

So, there are the doubters. But there will also be people who say “wow” and notice your move more than you’d imagine.

When I quit, a couple of my friends were soon after inspired to do the same. Not all of them have stayed the course – it’s not everyone’s bag and everyone has their own way of being at their best in work. But that’s not the point.

The point is: prepare to become a role model, and don’t play it down. In the beginning, I did. In fact, until a coach pointed out to me a few months ago that I was one of the best examples he knew of someone who had created work and life exactly on their terms, I had under-estimated the significance of my achievement.

8. It’s a huge change

The repercussions of you quitting may go on for years. Often good. But sometimes in challenging ways.

Sometimes more than others you have to work at being emotionally bouyant. If, on a down day, you catch wind of a former colleague landing a huge job, you might expect to feel a pang of jealousy.

Or to wish you’d stayed in a job and could collect a regular salary when the markets get quieter and your earnings are down.

You may have moments of insecurity that give rise to these feelings.

Now I remind myself of my decision and what I continue to love about it: the freedom of choice, and the excellent lifestyle, the ability to make money doing what I love.

9. The need for courage goes on and on

I suspect I imagined that the most bold thing I’d ever do was step off the corporate ladder and then it would be a breeze.

I could not have been more wrong. That bold step was just the first of many.

As a self-employed person, you have to find a certain courage almost daily to put yourself and your offerings out there and have people respond to them. For sure there are often more Hell No’s than Hell Yes’s.

I used to see that as rejection and feel wounded. Now I see that a yes or no – or even stoney silence – is just a piece of information.

10. You don’t have to get into self development. But you will

Given that I majored in Psychology at university, it’s amazing for me now to consider that, until I began thinking about working for myself, I had done very little personal development. Sure, the occasional leadership course. But no real depth work.

But I found myself drawn to the coaches and self-help writers when I began to get my head round just how I was going to quit.

And I’ve never stopped. Over the last years, I have spent tens of thousands of pounds on my own development in the form of coaching support, or training programmes I’ve attended.

I don’t regret a penny. Top class athletes wouldn’t compete without their support team. Why should you?

So…

Quitting your job is one of life’s biggies. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The internet is full of false optimism masquerading as advice.

Which is not to say that it’s not rewarding. It is.

But if you quit, do it with your eyes open.

Over to you…

So, tell me, if you’re currently thinking of quitting, what does this raise for you? Or if you have already quit and are doing your own thing, what experiences of yours does this talk to? Do you have any personal “lessons learned” of your own? Jump onto the comments below and share!

Filed Under: Entrepreneurship, Self Development Tagged With: entrepreneurship, freelancing, quit your job

October 8, 2010 by Christine

Writing Your Own Story Beyond The Corporation

09112008180Quit your corporate job for whatever reason and it’s not just the security of the pay check you lose.

Sure, there’s the kudos of your employer’s brand name, and your status conferring job title. But more than that there’s the loss of the whole story of who you are, the role you play and the script you enact with others.

Turn up at dinner with city sorts and introduce yourself as an Associate Lawyer for a Magic Circle firm, or a Product Manager for a Dow Jones company, and people think you’re someone. You’re character fits their map of what’s important in the world.

Go off in pursuit of your new age retreat centre, your virtual cup cake business, or your social media enterprise. Or just explain that you were made redundant in the last round of cuts, and see how people react then.

Will they get it? Will they understand what’s driving you? Will they see your value?

And do you care?

It’s a tough one, because we understand ourselves so much by the way we see ourselves reflected – or not – in other people.

But dealing with disapproval, or just downright indifference, is a vital rite of passage if we are to healthily leave the corporate theater.

My own story talks to this.

Until eleven years ago, I had big jobs for big firms. I wore the status I believed they conferred like badges of office. I drew strength and confidence from them.

I could say, I’m Christine Livingston, Human Resources Director, American Express, and people would be impressed.

I could turn up in a sharp suit and present tough messages to a Board of Directors as a Managing Consultant with Gemini Consulting and know I’d be listened to.

Leaving those personas behind to become a freelance HR/OD consultant, as I then did, and who was I? How would I distinguish myself from the thousands of others saying they did the same thing?

And was I crazy to imagine it was possible?

What made these questions even more difficult to wrestle with was other people’s reactions.

When I resigned from Gemini, my boss took me to lunch and told me I couldn’t leave.

“You’re star quality,” he said. “You’re going to go to the top of this firm. Hang in.”

When I stood my ground, he then began to question my mental health, and offered me a paid sabbatical while I sorted myself out.

Then there was the headhunter. A moment of doubt saw me, while still under notice, interview for a top Training and Development job. It was huge. I’d conned myself into imagining I might be able to have the kind of work life balance I wanted and pursue my professional interests through it. But starting to hear about the international travel requirements brought me back to reality. When I told the headhunter that I was withdrawing from the selection process and why, he was dumbfounded.

“You’re quitting a stellar corporate HR career to freelance? But why? You have no commitments; no family. Are you crazy?”

Then there was a former colleague. It wasn’t an obvious put down, but the offer of contract work, doing much more junior stuff than I was capable, delivered an ever so subtle insult.

All these things and more made me doubt myself profoundly. Maybe I was ill, crazy, less capable than I’d dared to imagine?

This was all so unexpected, confusing and immobilizing.

The breakthrough came when I began to understand that these people were voicing my own worst fears. Sure, they were expressing their opinion. But by voicing what a little part of me was secretly believing, their words cut deeply.

The moment I dared to confront my own concerns was the moment I could answer them. I owned that indeed I’d never been more clear about anything in my life; that if forgoing top jobs in order to create the space for life and relationships meant I was crazy, then crazy was good; that I was able and talented, corporation or not, and was going to own my level of ability without need of a job grading system.

My story still unfolds, but I’ll never regret choosing to write a new script. What’s holding you back from rewriting yours?
Creative Commons License photo credit: roland

Filed Under: Inner work, Reinventing work, Self Development Tagged With: corporate jobs, experimenting, quit your job

Primary Sidebar

Ready for extraordinary results?

* indicates required

Recent Posts

  • How to Push Yourself Without Crashing
  • Keeping It Real: A Manifesto
  • Why Wellbeing at Work isn’t Working and How it Can
  • “My Boss Needs it Now” and Other Bullshit Excuses that Keep You Stressed Out
  • Is Your Busyness Making You Ill? (Check these tell-tale signs)

Copyright © 2021 · Executive Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in